my misery/self-loathing is all-consuming

Today my Metro Card wasn't working and I obviously think I am invincible and ergo jumped the turnstile so of course as I am pulling out my book to read it two MTA cops come up to either side of me. They kept asking me stupid questions like don't you think you could get hurt jumping over the turnstile (I snarkily replied the fine would hurt me more)  but this was just a friendly reminder from God that I am not as special as I think I am and that even if you tell the police you are an unpaid intern they will still fine you $100. Awesome. 

This post was supposed to be about my sunburn from going to faraway-as-fuck Fort Tilden on Sunday to see some hip/now/sound bands but now it is about how I plan on getting $100 by July 16th which is when this summons is due. On the plus side--wait, there IS no fucking plus side. 

Here are my options as I see them:

1. Move to Canada.

2. Kill someone and up the ante of my criminal record (there's no turning back now I figure).

3. Get a job.

3 is out of the question because who is going to hire me now? I am ruined. I jumped the turnstile and I think I am above the law. What have I learned?

a. Be patient. An MTA employee will come and help you with your Metro Card.

b. Everything happens for a reason.

c. Nothing, I haven't learned anything.

Obviously c. I am so pissed off right now and I still don't think any of this is my fault even though I guess I have free will and was asking for it--but maybe I don't even believe in free will. Did you ever think of that fucking MTA double teaming cake brains? Probable not. Can I plead insanity and get off the hook? Probably not.

I hate music so I'm not even going to recommend anything for you to listen to. Oh I know, I recommend you listen to my scathing thoughts about justice and freedom. Anarchy, bitches!

Here is the new MGMT video for "Kids." It makes me fiercely uncomfortable at parts. Experience it for yourself: