Looks like I'm home.

I haven't written in a while, but I was pretty busy. I drove downstate on a highway for the first time ever yesterday. I didn't kill anyone, so I consider it a success. This was after couchsurfing and undergoing some other uncomfortable sleeping situations for a week before moving into a great gay little cottage in the woods. There were deer in my backyard the day before I left as well as extremely bright fireflies. Do you know what's in my backyard now? Nothing because we don't have backyards in Queens. There is a plastic bag, however, staked on a pole outside, unsuccessfully meant to scare away pigeons. Nature?
Anyways, while it might not sound like it, I actually do like Queens. I've been telling everyone we're the new Brooklyn, and it's true. There are so many yuppies in knit hats with baby carriages, you can't even walk down the street. There's a wine and cheese bar up the block from where I grew up. We have a farmer's market. There's a hip music venue in goddamn Astoria, you know the place where all the college graduates you know are moving to. I met some guy that actually said "Rock On!" in all seriousness when I told him I was born and raised in Queens. Three years ago when I would say that, I would get a look similar to that if I said I was from Staten Island (Spoilers: the next Bushwick).
But the most important thing about Queens being hipshit is that now I, with complete legitimacy, can self-righteously bitch and moan about gentrification and how "those hipsters are taking over my neighborhood". It's every New Yorker's dream and I'M LIVIN' IT BITCHES. Try not to be too jealous.

But really though, check out the Exit 44 Music Festival in Astoria on Saturday, it should be rad. Emily will even make the truck out to this borough to join me for it!

Download BrooklynQueens by 3rd Bass.