Some of this is very questionably bluegrass. After today we change into a Metallica-only blog. Get ready.
Earl Scruggs & The Foggy Mountain Boys - Foggy Mountain Breakdown
Alison Krauss and Union Station - Dark Skies
Incredible String Band - First Girl I Loved
This song is really nice and sweet and if you like oxygen what is wrong with you you should like it. Too. 1967.
Get this entire anthology by John Fahey. Freaking nuts how great this man is! Guitar extraordinaire.
Thanks dude one and dude two.
Happy belated birthday to the blog. It is now one-year-old and a few days. It's called "a success," achieved through me and some other people (not Beth because she likes bad music and incidentally a quitter with a failure to commit to excellence) having the first greatest music preferences and also being heinously fantastic writers. With the coagulation of those two qualities, GANGSTER LEGS was born and has both caused and endured suffering in 371 days.
If 2009 is any indication of future trends, 2010 should be terrible in the widest sense of all that is awful or could ever be so. Happy new year.
When I listen to the Pulp Fiction soundtrack I like it. I said to myself, I like this. Here is some more stuff from The Tornadoes. They were around in the 60s in some place not in the USA but who cares USA! USA! USA!
All my friends are going places and seeing stuff and I'm like hey guys just stay in the good old US of A you ain't got to leave for no thing got it all right here. Fuck travel. Traveling is for idiots.
The Ice Cream Man
This band is getting a lot of huff considering they've written three songs. Girl bands are soooo cool though. (soooo cool sends you to some write-up from impose magazine.) This is coasting. Brooklyn something?
I think kids is better but I might be mixin thumb up.
Second gargle group. Pascal Pinon. My friend sent this to me and I thought I would hate it because it is slimy cute but it's pretty cute so I like it.
That's all I guess. Oh Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros have a new song. Its ehhhhh. Same band as the so hipfamous Home. I played it with my girl duo in a basement last week, feeling real edgy and grimy.
Kisses Over Babylon
1. Get kicked out of a library at 8:20 AM during finals week because it does not open until 8:30. Nothing screams go back to bed and fail calculus like kicking someone out of a library.
2. Fall on your ass not once but twice in a row down a 5 degree hill immediately after number 1 occurs. Try to do it in a public place in front of a building with many windows. Try to be on the phone with your mother who is telling you what a bitter person you are...for your age.
3. Make tasty green tea in dining hall. It turns out very, very brown.
4. Say hello to someone and hear them respond, "Hey, [then very very hushed under their breath] bitch."
5. Go back to dining hall to get some delicious food. There is none. Get rice and put some pasta sauce on it. Fucking like it. Take it into the library and for the first time in three years nod your head as another member of the Gestapo tells you you have to eat that over there by the door. In the corner. Alone.
6. Stab yourself in the face with your car keys. So it looks like a tiger clawed half your face. And eye.
7. Establish new forum for people to whine about how hard it is to be so great and motivated all the time: www.woe-is-me.blogspot.com
8. Unplug your fridge and stock with instant soup to be eaten at your convenience. Uncooked. Also this is a great party trick. All your friends--this is something I would do hypothetically if I had visitors. Or friends--will put their beers and schnapps in the little fridge and the drinks will never, ever get cold. Little box of disappointment.
Keep your voices down and your heads held high soldiers.
Jefferson Airplane - Today (Live at Monterey Pop in 1967)
I put this here for your sulking pleasure but really I am exclusively listening to Christmas classics. Smashing Pumpkins. (WHAT A LOSER.)
These are explicit love songs, idiot. Chosen carefully. Chose carefully.
We Only Come Out at Night
Where Boys Fear to Tread
Jason Derulo with the sample from Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
I don't even know what the actual name of the song is. What She Say? What You Say? What Did You Say? What Did She Say? Whatcha Say?
Here is the song from which the other song takes the sample. It sucks. The only reason it is good is because you have to wait ten minutes through a shit song then all of a sudden it gets awesome. This happens around the 3:00 mark, lasts for 20 seconds then the song blows again.
Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
Actually both of these songs are terrible. But the first one is less so.
Next is a Modest Mouse song. Probably the best I know of. It is really repetitive and has breathy uh-ohs. (See: Out of Gas, Heart Cooks Brain)
Modest Mouse - Karma's Payment
Check out this vid it is so sweet:
Today Ulysses was ruled "not obscene," the 13th amendment ratified, "Lamb Chop on Broadway" premiered, Don King and French magician Jean-Eugene Robert-Houdin were born, Hugo Chavez elected, and Abraham Lincoln appointed Salmon P. Chase chief justice o...f the United States of America. (Sources: AARP, Library of Congress, History Channel)
I get a lot of music from my favorite person: The Internet. Such eclectic and diverse taste The Internet has!
I love soup. I love all kinds of soup. Right now I am eating a Thai Vegetable soup. It is vegan. I am not a vegan but I stopped eating dairy because it makes me vom or have a crippling stomach ache. For the rest of the day. I will not tolerate lactose.
These are the best songs I found this week (mostly all from Unpiano and RCRDLBL):
Phil and the Osophers
Possible new favorite today band. From Crook Land? I have no clue. Buzzzzy.
Check out "Uses Of A Man." You can download it there. This is the next song I will play so much in two days I will hate it for two days and then come back to it groveling.
18-year-old from Cleveland. I wonder if he is single.
"Hey Cool Kid"
This song is from 78 and it is what everyone in tight pants and a scowl wants to sound like.
There is other stuff I want to share but I am too lazy.
THEE OH SEES! New album: Dog Poison. Whoa! These two are my favorite songs:
The River Rushes (To Screw MD Over)
Good opener to the 23 minute album. Yes, it is an album. It has 10 songs. Play it two or three times in a row and it makes a normal length album.
The Sun Goes All Around
Maybe the greatest song I have heard in three months.
And what is weirder is that I have been listening to this album on repeat for the past few days and when I looked down at the seat of my car today before I sat on it and on the seat was this very CD. With a little note that said "I highly recommend this," or something cute like that. But how cool is that? Five minutes later I deduced who the anonymous gifter was. This was the coolest present maybe anyone has ever given me. Probably because this is one of my top ten favorite bands and also because I guess this person didn't even know that so maybe it wasn't a thought-out thing but who even cares it was such a great surprise. How cool is that. Sometimes I am not in a bad mood after all.
(To be fair, this album has been a much needed break. I only listen to the Smashing Pumpkins and Swan Lake these days.)
Ma$e is so cool. He is such a cool rapper. A lot of the lyrics in this song aren't going to make a lot of sense to you. That's okay. Ma$e.
Ma$e - What You Want (feat. Total)
How are you doing?
1. I spilled laundry detergent everywhere and if someone gets hurt I will forever be the asshole that cleaned it up half-assedly.
3. I start my performance art piece of applying new temporary tattoos every day. I've got sea creatures, William Blake, Cassat, dinos, cowboys, Nordic Gods, kitties, and two patriotic kinds. So far I have United We Stand with an Eagle on my left forearm. A kitty would look good. This piece is a commentary on society. All of it.
I sang this song at something called "Evening Prayer" (EP) at my high school. It was on Tuesday nights and people went there to have god supervise holding hands. That was date night. Obviously I was never invited. Anyways I performed this song with some dudes and I fucked up the first verse because I was nervous. I think I made people cry. I do it everyday. Above is the image I got when I googled "calendar." Great day!
Stars - Calendar
So you want a fight J-Chrome? No thanks. I guess your song was probably better. You win this time. Next time...still uncertain.
Loving the visual dictionary and word of the day lately. My favorites? Obviously (visually) I was looking up dog pictures and I scoobied upon dog ear collar. Then I found the jabot. Great find! In terms of actual words sans pictures I enjoy nudnik.
It is pronounced: NOOOOOOOOD-nik.
Shluv that. It looks like I punched a mirror my knuckles are so nasty. Instead I just rubbed them against splintered wood all weekend. Why? It doesn't matter why.
Tom Waits. The only real man. This song is sassy.
Lie to Me
Fucking Joy Division. Because you can't feel any worse!
She's Lost Control
I hate Halloween. I hate kids and I hate tricks and I like savory things more than sweet things. October 31st is my worst nightmare. Not because it is spooky. Because it is a pain in the ass. If I am going to dress up like a freak I will do it on my own time. I don't need society to give me one day a year when it is suddenly okay for me to show my true colors. Last year I was Cindy McCain. So obviously herein lies the crux of my holiday dilemma. I am brilliant at choosing costumes but I just hate the holiday. As is life.
I hate Halloween movies, Halloween colors, but most of all I hate pets in costume. Why? Because I love it so much and I know I should hate it because it is wrong to dress up one's cat or dog and that really pisses me off. Look at that pet in costume. It fucking hates you. In summation: You can be the jackass that you yearn to be all year long and dress up like a giant baby or a gargantuan skankbrains but leave your pet out of it. My fridge smelled like rotting cheese--not sure why--so I cleaned it with tons of bleach. The bleach is what makes me so angry.
ARG! Big Boi is so good. Listen to his voice? Do you hear that? This is classified as "feeling so good, inspirational hip-hop now sound." It is that melodic ding ding and gospel cooing that creates a goose down landing strip when you reach the jump off.
I will listen to it and maybe take it home.
Dead Kennedys - Stealing People's Mail
Not that I care, but I am seeing Bad Brains on Halloween. I have a great [TOP SECRET] costume idea.
We be true poplar on the world wide net. Actually it may be discounted due to the fact that the author is my BFF but whatever. Check out her blog. It is about how she thinks she is so pretty and also a championer of vagina power or something. I just like it because every once in a while she writes about me. I only read things about myself or books I have a feeling were written about me. The Pockets Full of Luck author and I have many things in common. Here is one: we both only look at pictures of ourselves. And that, my friend, is that.
1984 was a great year but I wasn't alive yet so I guess I am 4 years late learning the lesson Whodini has been trying to teach me. Friends. How many of us have them? Well, not me but that isn't the only part of the song that twangs my heartstrings. It is the part about relationships. That's right. The advice is that couples should be friends BEFORE they do it. Whatever it is. So now I must take a moment to indulge in thoughts and thinking. Do people need to be friends before they engage in romantics? I couldn't care less; dig those synths!!!! This song is captivating, making me realize I have no friends and I love 1980s hip-hop music. Are these two sentiments correlated?
AND I QUOTE:
"If a brazier is an upper-town flopper-stopper
and a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker
and toilet paper is a super duper pooper scooper.
What is the son of a constipated Japanese "wrastler"?
A slap happy-Jappy with a crappy pappy."
- Herb Krumsick
It's not that people wouldn't like to fondle your jelly donuts. Au Contraire. Everyone wants to lube you up and rub you down with grape preserves. It's not the unattractiveness of those that are morbidly obese, its the fact that they take so damn long to get from point A to point B.
I would be a playa playa if bed-ridden fat girls could access their genitals. The cold sad truth is that they can't. There's too much chub in the way.
The overweight of America are left abstinent not by choice and not because of a lack of sexual demand (I am living proof that there is plenty of that). The forced sexual attrition is because of debility. The people can't mate. So why the fuck are we so damn fat?
I think it's the lasting vestiges of the Fat Boys. This was a gluttonous 80's rap group that influenced the impressionable youth of America.
See what I mean?
It is interesting how humans can be so tormented by something as stupid as falling in love. Do you know what I would compare it to? Being possessed. Like scary, like in horror movies. Essentially romances are horrific.
Second note: Johnny Guitar Watson has been turning my world upside down. Listen to the lyrics I mean oh my gosh.
custom of choice: CORREFOCS. think fire breathing pigeon parades, fire crackers, children dressed in hamas scarves and safety goggles. CORREFOCS. invented in the past 30 years during the post-Franco period, set up officially in 1977 after a commission's investigation of remaining cultural traditions not wiped out by Franco.
I saw Fiasco play a few days ago. I have a crush on the drummer. His name is Julian. I think he's 12 but what a cutie. Anyways, they have a lot of catchy songs and are very nice live. Very charismatic and other complementary things. I interviewed them too but I haven't gotten around to transcribing it so I can't post it, get off my back.
Here is a new song from Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson. What a stupid name for a band. What a great song. Here is how I would describe it: winning $4 off of a scratch card. It's good. Not that good, but pretty fucking good.
Growing up I thought Neil Diamond to be such an innocuous fellow. My family drove through thirty-eight states in a 1978 Vogue listening to nothing but Simon and Garfunkel, Matthew Wilder and Neil Diamond. I know all of the songs to all of those artist's albums. But Neil... well... he received special attention.
Jeru The Damaja is the gentleman. Something this fine modern world is experiencing a deficit of. Is that grammatically correct? Like I give a care! FYI this is the coolest definition of chivalry: the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.
Friday I went to an alpaca farm. It was okay, I guess. I wish there were kitten farms and the kittens slept in tiny red barns at night so the wolves wouldn't eat them. Or Northern Saw-Whet owl farms (you know, the tiny owls you can pluck out of trees). Also it would be cool if delicious cheeseburgers grew on trees. I love everybody!
Seriously. I was walking down the hall of this building, back towards the table where my stuff was lying waiting for me to waste my time perusing my sticker collection or inventing obligations to bolster my schedule when this little dude pops out of nowhere asking if I was lost. "No," I said. "You aren't?" "No. My stuff is right over there." "Well, you certainly look lost." What the fuck. Unfortunately that was not the end of our encounter because my middle finger had just been sliced open. I was playing with a piece of very sharp grass and I needed a bandage. I saw someone less irritating out of the corner of my eye. "Excuse me, may I please have a band-aid?" "It won't stick," the fucking elf interjects. "Why not?" I ask. "They are the generic brand." Jesus Christ. The worst part was when I got the band-aids from the lady in the white coat and went to the bathroom to cleanse the wound and affix the bandage. It didn't stick. It's kind of coming off right now. Could anything be worse than being proven wrong by someone who in movements immediately previous just irked you? Possibly this is the time to put things in perspective.
Jaylib is really divine and takes my mind off of every other person who sits around pretending to read the New Yorker. I pretend to pretend to read the New Yorker. Twice removal cancels it out. I closely examine the cartoons and slap down the magazine after 30 seconds exasperatedly and make some kind of ignoramus claim.
I can't help but love the library. All libraries. Even the most hideous library of all, my college library. I spend so much time there because when you aren't looking I huff the moldy book smell and it keeps me going. Besides that, I go for the fast internet. The internet at my house is so slow. But the best part of the library is that it exemplifies the dialectic. The quintessential library dialectic is this: The fast internet and the masses of elderly people. It makes me crazy! I love that shit. Oh, and people in the library do not get how to be quiet. It is as if the loudest people are drawn like a moth to a flame into the reading rooms. "Excuse me, where is the elusive trashcan?" One geriatric inquires at the top of his lungs. These people have been around for so long on the planet they just spit beautiful knowledge and metaphors like "the elusive trashcan." Like he needed to throw something away. NO. He was telling the library, for all to hear, the key to some part of existence. I honestly would spend all my time in the library and often I do which accounts for how unusually pale I am. Now you know.
Enough about the library (never enough) let's talk about making mixes for driving. As my brother says, there is no better way to piss someone off than by listening to the first 10 seconds of a song 100 times to get the mix just right. So find a closet, lock yourself in, and don't open the door until you are ready to tell the world you have a new mix. Or put on headphones rude-o.
This is definitely going on one of the mixes. Duh duh duh DEL.
So is this. Phantogram - When I'm Small
This is what broke feels like: I opened my wallet while driving today to find some Claritin because I was sneezing all over the steering wheel. There was a fucking spider building a nest. In my wallet. That's how often I open my wallet...never. It's a great place to settle down.
Wu legos play by play.
Buffy Sainte-Marie - He's A Keeper of The Fire
This song has all the allure of a flaming beverage when drinking that sort of thing seems like the best and most daring idea you have ever had.
Vroooom Vrooom Vrooom I bet you think your life is about you DON'T YOU DON'T YOU DON'T YOU You're so vain.
chickens) and it made me get up and poach eggs. Inspiration is just down the street. I'm over it already. My brother likes to cook and he literally talks like this and the only audible thing he says over the stove is usually "this spicy."
The Mantles - Don't Lie
Thee Oh Sees - Tidal Wave
Oh come on, you know how much I love Thee Oh Sees. They never disappoint. And Shaq is snuggling that monster beast panda! Great news he is wearing a bib because those things harbor disease like nobody's business.
FOURTH POST...thank me there isn't a fourth. But I've got some more great news: they are coming to New York this October! Seat belts! Pump the breaks! I'm flipping out!
- Bob Dylan is recording a Christmas album. Praise be.
- John Hughes died. He wrote/directed Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Home Alone 2. My two favorite movies.
- Penny-farthing is still happening. Don't call it a comeback.
- Breaking news: I feel like I am going to boot all over my desk. Not sure why. Waiting to hear back from my stomach.
This is the kind of song that makes your chest feel really heavy with some emotion. For me it is usually a mix of hope and rusted anticipation or anxiety for something I think can happen if everything goes perfectly.
So, even thought my rainbow dolphin temporary tattoo has faded, I still consider myself an expert on all things gay and all things Sam Amidon (See: BrooklynVegan). On that note, I would like to bring to your attention these two videos:
(for the sake of this post, don't pay attention to his witty banter and explanation of the song. Please?)
My first reaction was, R. Kelly, please go pee on a minor or something and leave our beloved Sam Amidon alone, especially after seeing Amidon play this song to close his set, provoking a heart-string tugging sing-a-long. However, after extensive research, I found that, in fact, AMIDON covered R. Kelly. Oh god. This now presents a dilemma. Somehow it makes Amidon seem hip and now. Yet if it were the other way around I could expertly roll my eyes and cross my arms like I practice in the mirror every night, and then tout the ironic goodness of R. Kelly covering indiehipshit music when I play it for my friends off my Macbook Pro, all the while keeping a cool and collected distance, only appreciating the song for how funny it is when pop stars discover indie music, and not for it being an enjoyable song. Ugh. Does that make me seem like an asshole? BrooklynVegan commentors? Please chime in here.
Okay so Beth's post is referring to the fact that Beth's post about the Sam Amidon/Doveman show was quoted on Brooklyn Vegan and I somehow found this. Some dick bandit said it was the gayest thing he's ever read. I totally agree. It's so gay but that's Beth's style--so deal! Whatever Beth, at least you weren't accused (ACCUSED!) of being boy crazy yesterday.