Rocking out with my TB 303

I saw this recently and I kinda pooped my pants. Originally manufactured in the early 80's by Roland, the TB 303 was the soul of Acid house and has been used throughout the development of electronic music over the last 25 years. It was originally designed to sound like an actual bass guitar and replace a bass player in a band. However, DJ's like Daft Punk figured out that it was best used to produce songs like "Da Funk".

I think it speaks volumes to producers who use the 303. They don't have to rely on programs like Ableton & Reason or other emulators to make an ill bass line. Instead, they can sit down, and program this ancient synthesizer which is a real testament.

Sorry for the history lesson, I just wanted to give props to my man Boys Noize for killing it with the TB 303. Making old school sound new is pretty insane. Check out the insanity!


Oh him? That's just our friend the Googly-Eyed Glass Squid.

Free Frog Eyes show on Monday at Sound Fix.

Also there is a fucking salsa party tonight. Not salsa dancing. SALSA FOOD.

Also that squid is a real googly-eyed glass squid, which is an actual creature. I came upon it when I was researching googly eyes. You can buy some here.

And Sam Amidon is playing at Mercury Lounge Wednesday.

I hate parades.

Look at those white sunglasses: this is a stupid video!



Just go.

Dan Deacon is playing a free show in Red Hook AT THE SAME TIME. The choice is not yours. Go see Hanson. Also buy tickets for this. And this.


I got tickets to Iron Maiden baby.

Before someone else thinks of this I want to copyright my idea. Have you heard of Bros Icing Bros? It's a drinking game that goes like this, but I don't actually know the rules but this is it: you always have to have a Smirnoff Ice on you at all times. If a bro comes up to you and tries to ice you but you are without a Smirnoff you have to drink theirs in one gulp. If someone tries to ice you and you too have a Smirnoff that asshole has to drink both. Risky! Finally boys came up with a way to legitimize their love of Smirnoff.

But all good viral campaigns have spin offs and so I came up with "Bitches Tea-bagging Bitches." (© 2010 Emily) All bitches must carry thermoses of Long Island Iced Tea. But wouldn't bitches be able to see other bitches thermoses and cheat? I have that figured out too. Late 19th century hoop skirts and bustles. If one bitch tries to tea bag another bitch who doesn't have her tea properly concealed in the holster under her bustle she will be vomiting everywhere in 10 minutes and the only redemption will be that she has helped to bring back a style long overdue for a revival--keep your fingers crossed for the corset's second coming. BTB is has higher stakes than BIB because bitches don't fuck around with Smirnoff. That shit is for dudes now. Good luck getting an interview with me, New York Times. E-mail is best.

It comes right down to athleticism. The World Cup, hoops, ping pong. Everything. There's a little kid and a 25 year old skating outside my window. Sports and friendship. Check out this sweet song's accompanying video!

Wet Illustrated - Born Stokes



An Ode To My Doppelganger

That's a pretty awesome denim jacket you're sporting in your profile picture. Where did you buy it? Hester Street Fair? Brooklyn flee market? Buffalo Exchange? No? Well, it really compliments that bad boy James Dean look you are projecting. I bet all the women flail their arms in ecstasy when they see you walk down the street. What did you say your name was? Anderson xxxxxx!? Wow, that's pretty crazy, because Anderson xxxxxx is my name! We should totally hang out!

Wh-what's that? Oh, you aren't real? Some totally random person cloned me on fb? That's pretty lame fake Anderson. And all those friends of yours were added randomly? I thought
you were cool fake Anderson. I had elaborate dreams of calling you my "bro". We were going to exchange vials of blood so we could wear them around our neck. You tazed me bro, you tazed me.

Well, at least Australian electro rocker's Van She remix of Dragonette's "Pick Up The Phone" can remedy my desolate desires of finding my doppelganger. Electro music to the RESCUE.