Don't punch me, it's not funny.

So today's my birthday and, while this usually doesn't happen often, I'm going to make you listen to whatever I want. Today, that happens to be the song that, as my birthday present, I'm making Emily carry around behind me all day blaring from a portable tape deck. She's also going to freestyle on command considering those other rap battle plans got a little cut short this week. And by cut sort I mean...well...i blame Genny.

Enjoy! Download Beastie Boys and Matt & Kim mashup

PS- I've entered yet another year of life whilst listening to either dirty rap music or Alanis Morissette, I don't know which I wasn't watching the clock. Is this bad?

Ewie!

This is the dirtiest beat I've ever heard. Seriously, listen to this and try not to freak the fuck out and grind all up on the closest person/inanimate object to you. It hits like, 30 seconds in, and you literally are forced to wave at least two appendages wildly about with pure sexual energy. SHIT IT'S SO GOOD. Thank you to those that showed it me. I am eternally grateful. I am also thankful for the spectacularly dope dance you do to it too. It's burned in my brain, really and that's a good thing for sure.

Download Pro Nails (Rusko Remix)

You can download that version, or listen to this one. I don't know why this is a different remix with the same name, but its BETTER and a minute longer and god knows every second counts. Now Ima go take a shower.




Just kidding, here it is! Download this instead if you're impatient.

Look for more Rusko really soon, I'm pretty into it and nothing says summertime like dirty dance music and hot English dubstep DJs.

NOW (THAT'S WHAT I CALL GETTING BUSTED!) 65

Well, we had our second guests on the show last night, the Friends!!!! WHAT A GIANT SUCCESS IT WAS! Fabulous music was performed (I took some botched videos which I will share later if they work) and everyone was in a merry state of mind. Sadly, I didn't get any footage of security kicking down the door to kick our happy asses out into the hot hot night but you can only legally have so much fun on a Monday night anyways. (The security man later said that whoever had the show--it was mine--was done with the radio station forever. Fuck.) On a side note, has anyone heard of Genny Light? Light beer never tasted so real! I mean it! On second side note, today I found that we, as a society, have reached NOW 72. Talk about economic growth! That company is going strong. 

In summation: Although GANGSTER LEGS the radio show may be cancelled, GANGSTER LEGS the blog (and may I add the original GANGSTER LEGS form created way back in December 2008) is as strong as ever. Security can take away my radio show but they can never, NOT NEVER, take away my blog! NO WAY. NO HOW! I am not sure if that is true, actually.

tripping is for teenagers, murder is for murders

I forgot about this song/band. It's, like, biblical themed right? Rock Opera? Drugs outside of Sunday School? Religious Mid-West wasteland? Tattoos with meaning and cussing? Sexy Jesus? Sort of Bruceified organs? So down.

Download Cattle and the Creeping Things and Your Little Hoodrat Friend By The Hold Steady

I'm pointing at the moon(z) you lookin at my finger(z)

What rhymes with thrillin? VILLAIN!

Make your own mini-DOOM. Good for children. By the way a child told me this week that a "Bejungle" is like...more than a million. Brilliant. 

The Whitest Boy Alive "Burning" video

It is almost 90 degrees hot out. 

If you like this get another one "Above You"

Ladyhawke "Manipulating Women"

If I had a quarter for every time someone said this to me maybe I could finally do my laundry. Ha! Ha! Ha! Here is an old post too. 

DOOM "Supervillainz" and "Angelz (featuring Tony Starks)" and, AND "That's that"

He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack and with a new aerodynamic name. He just streamlined that shit! These are only songz you will need all spring. The only album worth listening to todayz. Or just get it all here. By the way you will harsh your mellow and literally freak out when you hear "Supervillainz." It will be the new "Potholderz." It will be. 

Spoilerz: Tony Starks is Ghostface. 

Meanwhile in a parallel universe DOOM and Thom Yorke are casually frolicking in fields of super-genius.

Pasta!

I love pasta. Alot. When it is perfectly cooked, it is the best food to ever have existed. It is the perfect combination of warm tastiness, soft mushiness, and coma-inducing carbohydrate overload. It is really all I ever have to eat. It is the culmination of culinary efforts. Plus, don't marathon runners eat lots of it before a race so their bodies don't shut down or something? How can you say no to that?

Download Noodles by Suburban Kids With Biblical Names.

This band kind of sounds like a perkier version of Jens Lekman, but minus some of his savvy sexiness. Good none the less though.

Whistle Pig...yes, its real.

I was told before I moved into the place I live now that there was a Whistle Pig that lived outside my window. For those of you who are not savvy to woodland creature slang, a Whistle Pig is either a woodchuck or a groundhog...they might be the same thing, I'm not sure. Anyways, after living here for almost a year I still had not seen said Whistle Pig. BUT, the other day after rising from a sound sleep, making a cup of coffee and opening my window shade I was greeted with a wondrous sight: THE WHISTLE PIG EMERGED FROM IT'S HOLE AND PROUDLY SITTING ATOP A GRASSY HILLSIDE. I obviously overwhelmingly happy and stared for a good twenty minutes at it's furry brown back in awe of the wonder that is wildlife. Yet, when I opened my window to happily shout greetings and good tidings, it scurried back into it's dirt home. After I cried for couple minutes over my loss, I realized that, if it were meant to be, I would see my scrubby friend again. This has yet to actually happen, but I don't doubt it. And in the mean time, I imagine the Whistle Pig waking at dawn each morning, sleepily climbing out of it's home, vigilantly surveying it's terrain while this song quietly plays in the background. Till then my dear, till then...

Download Roses by The Shivers

KMD + Angry Poochie Pal

Sellout...

I've sold out... I've sold my sole (the bottom of my shoe...or maybe even a fish...)... 

I now neatly put you into a demographic so that I can sell you more self-storage.  Its all so selfish... I feed you off-the-shelf rotten shellfish.  Put them into boxes and leave them alone.  Cardboard mixed with abalone.  Mercury levels are rising.  Your heart is as chrome as squid ink.  I may look invisible but my chromatophores are dilated.  Objectify sensation while mentally master-debating yourself.  Ad homonyms a la sopa.  Efface my fundamental hope.  

Dying to Live and Living to Die

Tweaker Pad

I bet this camera tastes terrible.

•Bears bears sloth bear. 

•I was going to invest in Chrysler. Five year plan. Imagine the reaction the FBI would have. 

Above are my flowing river reactions to This American Life and life, real life, and below are some songs about little siblings and other little things.

Big Tree- Little Brother

Catchy looping riff with some insightful lyrics. 

Grizzly Bear- Little Brother

Yellow House is my album of the week. It helps that they just released a new single "Cheerleader" which is rah-rah-dope. This song is very magical and twinkles like a nymph skipping along the tops of soft leaves on a lush forest floor. Imagine that.

Art Brut- My Little Brother (live)

These hawties came out of the punkpunk womb in 2003. Singer Eddie Argos' voice screams "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I SUCK AT SINGING WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING YOU UNCULTURED FOOL?" Not literally, but I think you can tell from listening to Art Brut how cool Argos thinks he is. I guess he is pretty cool. 

tUnE-YaRdS- LITTLE TIGER

Check out my other post about her. This song makes me anxious.

Sonic Youth- Little Trouble Girl

Hallucinogenic Sonic Youth. 

Every Penny's Hot, Well Halelughia

Today I saw a real entertaining and yet insightful lecture given by the artist Laurel Nakadate. There was a loud playing of Ludacris and a happy passing about of a volleyball before she started talking. It was a regular beach party. There was also the discovery of a very apt Skype name of a beloved member of the audience: DrShrimp. I'm basically kind of obsessed with her now and my adoration grew even further once she mentioned the music for her first ever feature length film Stay The Same Never Change was done by her good friend Casiotone for the Painfully Alone. Whoa. Not only is the film insanely beautiful and uncomfortably familiar, but the music is a perfect fit: she said she wanted "the saddest prom music you've ever heard with an ice cream truck in the distance" and that is exactly what Casiotone gave her. So, while I have posted about them before, in honor of both Laurel Nakadate and Casiotone I will share with you some of my favorite tracks from the band.

Download I Love Creedence, It's A Crime, and Optimist vs. The Silent Alarm (When the Saints Go Marching In).

Also check out Laurel's work. It's the most embarrassing and interesting thing ever.

Girls, All I Really Want is Girls, and In the Morning it's Girls

Girls are taking over San Francisco. Girls are taking over California. Girls are taking over the United States. Girls are taking over the world. Girls are taking over the universe. No, it is not the female sex. It is a new duo consisting of Christopher Owens, and JR White. Hailing from San Francisco, a.k.a the Bay Area, a.k.a the Yay Area, Girls is holding it down. Their songs, although extremely simple, are extremely catchy. With lyrics like “…I wish I had a suntan/ I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine/ I wish I had a beach house, and we could make a big fire every night/Instead I am just crazy,” how could they not be? Girls is a throwback to the 60’s surf rock bands like the Beach Boys, and reminds me a lot of Buddy Holly. With only select songs available for download, Girls is still flying under the radar. They only play a few shows here and there. However, we are going to be seeing a lot of Girls very soon. All I can say is, when you find Girls hit on them! Also, how can you not like a band that supports Ariel Pink?




Download:

Lust for Life (not an Iggy Pop cover!)

Hellhole Ratrace

Enthusiams...enthusiams. What are mine? Baseball.

BlackBlack- Skulls

This song is uplifting in a counterintuitive miserable way.

Ben Benjamin- Calorie Committee

Beepbeepbeep. No vocals. I am really not really into speaking or listening anyways. Good car riding adventure music to play loudly in your convertible while not having a conversation with the person next to you. Just driving and pretending you are in a movie.

Prime Minister Pete Nice & Daddy Rich- Rat Bastard

A nice little rap song from a Pete who loves baseball and rap. Me too!

Elden Calder- Runner

Got this off of Cold Splinters, a really great blog. It is perfectly adorable. I am not sure if it makes me want to run or not. I don't really like walking but running is faster but still slower than riding a bike. A car is fastest of all but you don't get to be outside and it is inconvenient to bring places because of its size. Jet packs maybe? MAYBE. I'm going to duct tape some bottle rockets to roller blades and scoot around for while before it starts raining again. 

I hate every book I've ever read

Yesterday I went into the city only to turn around upon arriving. That is a metaphor for my life that actually happened. I need (not want, NEED) some orange juice right now. Little poofs everywhere understand what I mean.

This tiger is catching meat chunks in a pool. Another metaphor for my life.

This is the best song I have ever heard this month. Someone once said, wow you have already listened to it 11 times? Yes I had. And now it's 18. I wish when people spoke this song would come out of their mouths instead of whatever they were trying to say because I just don't care what you want to tell me but I do love this song. 

Harlem: South of France

Elvis Perkins is on tour right now so go see him. He probably won't play this song because it came out a few years ago and was also featured on the O.C. (great show) so that was either something in retrospect he thinks of as a lucrative move or just embarrassing. 

Elvis Perkins: While You Were Sleeping

Thee Oh Sees are playing tonight at The Bell House. I have tickets that I can't use if you want them let me know.

Thee Oh Sees: Quadrospazzed

Coachwhips is a sweet SF band like all the other sweet garage sounding SF bands but better because one of the Thee Oh Sees dudes is in that shit! This song is ILL like how I feel right now but with a positive connotation. 

Coachwhips: Brains Out

PLUS EXTRA SPECIAL SPECIAL: If you go to my stupid college then you can come see THE FRIENDS play tonight at Smog (is it at Smog, not sure). See Beth's post on them if you got no clue what I talkin bout. 

Remember when I posted Mr. Sad Fish? Well this fish is nothing but smiles...and legs. 

It's a near extinct Mexican Walking Fish. I love the internet.

FML

I think the fact that Beth compared Tyson Ritter to one third of the Holy Trinity is both sacrilegious and stupid. Tyson is attractive but Beth is once again demoted to ignoramus status. Maybe Tyson is comparable to Barabbas, who was cool and probably also had cheekbones that could cut a flank steak, but surely not Christ our Lord Savior. That being said Beth, you are great but shut your face about Christ or answer to God.

The Evens- Cut From the Cloth 

Probably better than wifey/hubby duo Handsome Furs (sorry Steve, its debatable). Ian MacKaye and Amy Farina are a supercouple. Did you know Amy used to play in Ted Leo's band for a minute? I hear she drums with her baby strapped to her chest. I said that before though. I think every song I have heard of theirs is close to perfection (like Jesus, Beth) and I should do a post on them later in more detail- note to self. 

Big Tree- Cap'n Ted 

Holy smokes this is the catchiest kitten of a song. Oh-bee-sessed. I just spewed it is that contagious. Ick-o!

The Knife- Got 2 Let U

This song rules. Jeremy (of this blog!) likes it so you know it's both sensual and radical. You think it's all good and stuff and then the dude sings and it doubles the song's appeal. Hawt. 

The Wood Brothers- Postcards from Hell

1/3 of Medeski Martin & Wood plus another brother. Pretty folky fun. 

Magnetic Fields- Three Way

Terrific album. The whole thing.