This is what broke feels like: I opened my wallet while driving today to find some Claritin because I was sneezing all over the steering wheel. There was a fucking spider building a nest. In my wallet. That's how often I open my wallet...never. It's a great place to settle down.
This is what being a hobo feels like: I had my freaking dog with me in the car and it was too hot to leave her in the car so I fashioned a leash out of a 20-foot rope and she dragged me down Main St. We went into a store to find my friend and were immediately kicked out. Bitches can't handle having my bitch in their fancy clothing stores. I hope my poochie rubbed her stenchy all over the clothes.
This is what being a creative genius feels like: I sanded the ugly Sector 9 paint job off of my longboard two years ago and never repainted it. This all changed last night. I made four separate puppy stencils, snookered some spray paint from the four corners of the earth and am now in the process of covering the belly of my board in PUPPIES! White, gold, purple, and grey.
This is what adventure music sounds like:
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