Who wants my AIDS!!!!

Sorry for the 2 month hiatus but I've been out sick with bed bugs. I've missed you all so much. Before I embark on my non-sensical rant about nothing, eat a jelly donut then tell your mom you have sexual fantasies of playing Twister with Rasputin, Alfred Hitchcock, and Justin Beiber.

ANYWAY, during my hiatus I've come to the conclusion that for the longest time all I've wanted to do was smoke crack with you people then suck a large dong at an asian soup factory. If you don't like it, then you can find out where doodys go when I flush the toilet. FACE!

Sarah Jessica Parker once asked me if I knew my way around a 1099 Tax Form, and I quickly retorted, "Fuck that shit, I make a living shoplifting VCR's at Best Buy." She winced with agony and slowly returned to the sewers where she broods terrible movies/shows. Soon after, a man using chopsticks as legs told me that he found Jesus inside a fortune cookie.

Music!!!