I Am Phat

And you are phat (Post-Hormonal And Tingly). When you have reached a certain weight, you start to walk slow.

It's not that people wouldn't like to fondle your jelly donuts. Au Contraire. Everyone wants to lube you up and rub you down with grape preserves. It's not the unattractiveness of those that are morbidly obese, its the fact that they take so damn long to get from point A to point B.

I would be a playa playa if bed-ridden fat girls could access their genitals. The cold sad truth is that they can't. There's too much chub in the way.

The overweight of America are left abstinent not by choice and not because of a lack of sexual demand (I am living proof that there is plenty of that). The forced sexual attrition is because of debility. The people can't mate. So why the fuck are we so damn fat?

I think it's the lasting vestiges of the Fat Boys. This was a gluttonous 80's rap group that influenced the impressionable youth of America.

See what I mean?