Goin out on a school day

To all:

If you have no interest in being sober on thursday night, I would highly suggest you take your ass down to Santos Party House SOOOO you can take an extraterrestrial siesta in space with LINDSTROM!

What fuck kind of crap will be played there you ask? This, and then some of THIS!!!!!! And if you didn't know, Santos Party House knows how to get down.

Then on Friday get excited for the best thing to come out of Brazil since fire ants...

~~~~THE TWELVES!!!~~~~

AND at a new venue (Oh!) that looks too crazy to be realz!!! Read the reviews of this place. It's called Good Units. Apparently you touch space when you enter the place.

Awesome, I am so Awesome!

New Year, same AIDS!

So like what's up everyone? It's a new year, but I'm still listening to unoriginal music. That's ok though, because I am a self loathing individual hell bent on putting your mom on blast once I show her that AIDS test I failed (or passed, I guess its whichever way you look at things).

Speaking of new years, it's been pretty wack outside. Its been snowing a lot. It would have been a lot cooler if it didn't snow or get cold, or really hot, or if my septum's weren't deviated. But fuck it, its a new year, and I should welcome these unforeseen changes in my life. For one, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't compare my penis to sheared pickles this year. However, that resolution was very short lived.

Well, despite my lack of ability to resist comparing my sexual organs (that's right I have more than one) to inanimate objects, over the last few months I have relegated myself to late 90's Chicago house music. I was going to write about Azari & III, but I wanted to start this year right.

Thus, I would like to introduce to you German producer Tensnake. Upon hearing his single Coma Cat for the first time last winter, I immediately experienced an intense orgasm that lasted for 6 minutes and 56 seconds. And after a good listen to his recently released mixtape "In the House" I found myself enamoured with his ability to incorporate 80's disco with early 90's house. You seriously have to listen to this guy, he's gonna be something (and hopefully not a reincarnation of my dead cat as angry lasagna).

It's like 60 Minutes on acid.

Onishi Yasuaki

one/one/two zero one one

Why the hell should I stay up until midnight so I can feel like shit the next day because I drank a personal bottle of Freixenet (pronounced Freaks-net)? I shouldn't. So last night I didn't. I will next weekend at my New Years Eve Take II party. Fuck that holiday. I didn't even get to steal Beth's Saturday New York Times today because SOMEONE gave the mail person the day off. Right. Happy New Year, may it start off with the neglect of printed journalism.

Resolutions:
1. No more swearing, (Mom: You sounds like you aren't creative enough to come up with a better word.)
2. No more tights with runs. (Mom: You look trampy.)
3. Be optimistic. (Mom: You are way too young to be this jaded.)
4. Stop being so fucking lazy and get on the train. A 45-minute subway ride is usually worth maintaining friendships. (Mom: Do you have friends?)

Someone called me "bastard face" today. I beat them at Scrabble. Heat's on!

Two soft, one razor, one brazen.

Twin Sister - Lady Daydream


Galaxie 500 - Strange


The Intelligence - Sailor Itch


Johnny Jenkins - Bad News

SEXXX-Mass Truth Nuggets and 2010 in Review

Speaking on Jesus' behalf, I would be going cat shit over the fact that people adhere to this concept of being naughty or nice in exchange for gifts. It's his goddamned birthday, you forgetful bastards. Yeah, you might go to midnight mass. But, once that shit ends your balls deep in opening presents and forget all about his vagina friendly birth. Immaculate conception? That shit must've been like "Tom Cruise on Oprah" crazy.

Besides, back in Jesus' day people were more concerned with not being eaten by dinosaurs and making it to the ripe old age of 30. So I'm like almost 100% that he doesn't give a steaming pile of fresh turd juice about how many presents you received or didn't receive. I would think he's more upset that everyone forgets to wish him a happy birthday on his wall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moving on, like all blogs around this time of year, I am obligated to share with you some sort of list that recaps the year. So I have been doing a lot of hard thinking as of late in regards to my favorite and least favorite shows I have attended over 2010. Enjoy (to the 4 people that read my posts)!

Least Favorite Shows of 2010

Dishonorable Mention: Classixx @ Brooklyn Bowl, Al-P (of MSTRKRFT) @ Webster Hall, and 2 Many DJ's @ Coachella

# 3 - Ed Banger 7th Anniversary Party: It wasn't that the music was bad, just that Terminal 5 is a terrible venue and Justice's set was a HUGE let down in comparison to the Halloween set I saw a few months earlier. A 45 minute set doesn't do them Justice...

# 2 - Busy P @ Hiro Ballroom: I know that he was totally wasted, and had no interest in mixing songs together, but seriously he should have played something new, or, at the very least, something good. After seeing him almost 5 times now, he seems to be getting worse. Hiro Ballroom was the most recent show I've attended of his, and it will certainly be the last.

# 1 - SebastiAn @ Webster Hall: In the same night as the Ed Banger 7th Anniversary Party, I was hoping that a very rare Sebastian set would ameliorate my already disappointing night. Well, I was wrong. VERY WRONG. He opened with a track that looped a 1 minute sample, and just kept turning up the volume. Not only was that shit track super fucking repetitive (he played it for 10 minutes), it was so loud that all you could hear was distortion. Then the rest of the set was completely unmixed, and just sounded absolutely horrid. No wonder he doesn't do sets often...

Favorite Shows of 2010

Honorable Mention: Erol Alkan @ Electric Zoo, Aeroplane @ Coachella, and Vitalic @ Webster Hall

# 3 - YUKSEK (DJ Set) @ Hiro Ballroom: Nothing will compare to his live sets (best show I've ever seen) but his DJ set was still fucking awesome. I guess I should preface that this was not just Yuksek performing. It was actually Yuksek and Brodinski dj'ing together under the stage name The Krays. However, it was blatantly obvious when Yuksek was laying down tracks. Even so, the two together were phenomenal for a DJ set (and I think I was the only person there that didn't speak French).

# 2 - Chemical Brothers @ Electric Zoo: I remember first hearing them back when they dropped Block Rockin' Beats when I was 11. Since then I have listened and bought most of their work, which I have highly enjoyed throughout the years. However, though I have always put them in the highest echelon of electronic artists, their sound just isn't as fresh as Daft Punk's. So in regards to highly touted/budgeted tours of EDM greats, Chemical Brother's absolutely AMAZING video/light show comes in second behind Daft Punk's 2006-2007 world tour. Still, it was hands down best show at E Zoo, even though they lost power with 15 minutes left to go (only to regain it 5 minutes later and finish their set).

# 1 - The Twelves @ Santos Party House: I didn't even debate the possibility of putting the Chemical Brother's outrageous set in the number 1 spot. The fact is that the Twelves' are just that good that I almost put them in the #1 & #2 spot for both times I saw them this year. They have no gimmicks, and just string together their unreal remixes in the funkiest of ways. I don't know what else to say, but for you to go see them!

Well that's it for this year, but looking forward to a new year of a shows!!

Let's see ZERO emotion in your face.

From LACA it's Canned Heat. Here are their two big hits. My favorite member, Alan Wilson (AKA Blind Owl) wrote most of the songs.

sah mach sah graht

Hands down to magma depths earth's core. LSD rock, go.

The Smoke - My Friend Jack


The Lords - Poor Boy


The Pretty Things - Come See Me

triple dog dare

Jason Schwartzman's band Coconut Records is really good. These two songs are off of Davy.