I love Love. But also Billy Corgan. And Phish.

Hard-hitting news.

1. New songs by Smashing Pumpkins. 44 of them. "Holy shit why?" Shut your face, maybe because WHO CARES Billy Corgan has taken time off from looking like a hot alien to grace the planet with new songs backed by other ETs. These songs are collectively known as Teargarden by Kaleidyscope. (Teargarden means the plants water themselves according to their MySpace.)

Smashing Pumpkins - Widow Wake My Mind
I heard this song on the radio and drove off the road into heaven. I don't suggest listening to the song. It's pretty bad, I'm just a really loyal person.

2. Courtney Love has a new Hole album. Now: imagine.

3. Billy and Courtney are fighting on Tweeter. Role models setting a bad example to mid20-ers sulking worldwide.

That's about it. NO IT IS NOT.

4. Phish is releasing some kind of a 3D. Now: imagine.


5. Justin Beiber caused a tornado and the wilting of all corn crops in the United States. Riots ensued because little girls love eating popcorn while watching Twister. I LOVE HIM less than sign with two 3's.

ROBOTSROBOTSSNOWBOTSBEEBOP

1. Get kicked out of a library at 8:20 AM during finals week because it does not open until 8:30. Nothing screams go back to bed and fail calculus like kicking someone out of a library.

2. Fall on your ass not once but twice in a row down a 5 degree hill immediately after number 1 occurs. Try to do it in a public place in front of a building with many windows. Try to be on the phone with your mother who is telling you what a bitter person you are...for your age.

3. Make tasty green tea in dining hall. It turns out very, very brown.

4. Say hello to someone and hear them respond, "Hey, [then very very hushed under their breath] bitch."

5. Go back to dining hall to get some delicious food. There is none. Get rice and put some pasta sauce on it. Fucking like it. Take it into the library and for the first time in three years nod your head as another member of the Gestapo tells you you have to eat that over there by the door. In the corner. Alone.

5. Hallucinate.

6. Stab yourself in the face with your car keys. So it looks like a tiger clawed half your face. And eye.

7. Establish new forum for people to whine about how hard it is to be so great and motivated all the time: www.woe-is-me.blogspot.com

8. Unplug your fridge and stock with instant soup to be eaten at your convenience. Uncooked. Also this is a great party trick. All your friends--this is something I would do hypothetically if I had visitors. Or friends--will put their beers and schnapps in the little fridge and the drinks will never, ever get cold. Little box of disappointment.

Keep your voices down and your heads held high soldiers.

Jefferson Airplane - Today (Live at Monterey Pop in 1967)



I put this here for your sulking pleasure but really I am exclusively listening to Christmas classics. Smashing Pumpkins. (WHAT A LOSER.)

These are explicit love songs, idiot. Chosen carefully. Chose carefully.

Smashing Pumpkins

X.Y.U.

We Only Come Out at Night

Love

Cherub Rock

Where Boys Fear to Tread