Call of the Wild

I am jostled awake by a sudden booming. It is 12:15AM when I hear the call. I want to be furious for these hooligans disrupting my slumber but- "GIRL YOU KNOW AYE-AYE-AYE. GIRL YOU KNOW AYE-AYE-AYE. Birthday sex. Birthday sex...Tell me where you want your gift, girl...You close your eyes as I improv between your legs...AYE-AYE-AYE." 

Modern day Shakespeare, Jeremih (quirky spelling, I love that!) put to music what we are all thinking about: birthday sex. The thing is: it doesn't have to be your birthday for this to be your new favorite song. It's going to feel like your birthday when you hear it for the first time. His self-titled debut album comes out in just a few days on Def Jam. Expect lines because the first 365 people with unique birthdays to buy the record get birthday sex from Jeremih in 2010.

The video contains copious birthday touching and birthday fruit smashing. The real question is where did she get those gladiator heels!? Probably a birthday gift. 

Dead or Alive

image from my new favorite blog http://mymilktoof.blogspot.com/

This one is the best but I have only looked at the

first two pages.

Deadliest Catch is my favorite show. I just go crazy for it. I also love the seasonal gingerbread house contest marathons on Food Network and of course Shark Week. But Deadliest Catch is really the best show on the television. This is because of a few reasons:

1. It is not a joke. 

2. The man from Hungary and the subtitles provided so the viewer can decipher his obliterated English. I live for every time he says something about crabs. Today he was carrying around a severed fish head and said something about how it was a good piece of cod. I felt so warm. His name is Karols Charlie Gaspar. 

Also something always goes wrong but they are so cool and yell at each other and the captain is all fuming and then they catch buckets of crab and its cool again. They just let those pots soak. Yeahhhh, soak.

☃

Beth was right: the Doveman show was totally righteous! It was like electricity. Honestly, Sam Amidon was the perfect entertainer. Absolute magic. I recommend seeing either Doveman or Sam Amidon in any of his bands whenever possible. As I write this, Amidon is at iBeam at record release show for Fiddle and Drums, his new project with Aaron Siegel. I should be there but I have a vicious tummy ache and am already in my pjs AKA my Association Internationale Pour L'Etude et la Gestion Des Ours shirt. That translates loosely into the International Association for the Study and Management of the Bears. So it goes. 

There is only a 70% chance of rain today. Let us celebrate by listening to the lyrics of this classic song.

Sigh of relief

Gangster Legs went on another little outing last night and perhaps saw the best show of the summer. When describing the show Sam Amidon, Doveman and members of The National put on at Le Poisson Rouge there is no way that I can be sarcastic or snarky. It was too amazing, beautiful, genuine, and polished for me to even pretend to funnily write about it. Basically, that music was the equivalent to being in love, drinking iced tea on a wooden porch on a perfect summer day, and moving away from home for the first time, all rolled into one. I'm still walking around with a goofy smile on my face, especially in lieu of sitting literally two seats over from the lead singer of The National. Ahhhhh. The blogosphere might not be aware but those close to me know of my complete and utter obsession with The National and understand what a life altering event that was for me, creepy cell phone pictures and all. I am seriously at a loss for words when I try to describe how much I love The National. That's probably why I've never posted on them; I get jittery just thinking about them.
Okay, anyways, blubbering aside, apparently the National are working on a new album and are also touring, but mostly in Europe. However, if you're rollin' in it and have the cash money to blow on the All Points West Festival coming up soon in ny, ny, they will be there, rocking your world, changing your life, making you fall in love, and gently hugging the stranger next to you with happy tears in their eyes. (All this may or may not have happened at prior National shows. Just saying.)

Check out this cool, free, album available for download on Sam Amidon's site: http://www.samamidon.com/homealone.html

Also download this great new Doveman song Hurricane.

On a last note, I would like to announce that I won't be posting for a while starting tomorrow. I'm going to be working on some farms this summer in places that don't know what internet connections, nor hipandnow music are. So my opportunities to create hilarious, rabble-rousing posts about great music will be few and far between. But don't dismay, I'll be back briefly in mid-July, than probably forever in September. Have a lovely summer kiddos; everyone's sleeping upstairs, all safe and sound.

Love,
Beth

filthbaggin' it

This two song EP came out in January and features songs from Bonzai and Fiasco. I am O(D)Bsessed with "Skipping Across the Autobahn" by Bonzai. They are four unrelated Brooklyn brothers that make the merriest of musics. This song is great but so is the Fiasco song! What a deal.

Download Fabulous Bozo

Next post: Probilly going to be about No Age. HAWTIEBABESHOWZ! Sometimes I am so annoying I annoy myself. 

Part II: sex fiendz/GANGSTER LEGS goes to Fort Tilden

Here is the account of our trip to Fort Tilden because if I don't show you, how will you ever, ever know? 

Beth's "See Emily, we made it!" face.

The Eskalators

Zeke who was a very nice guy.

Beth has a brush with fame.

Broccoli Destroyer

Fiasco

The coolest kid under the sun.

The guy from the Creaky Boards was there!

Pterodactyl

Phosphorescent

Part I: Fort Tilden Fiasco

On the plus side--and there is ALWAYS a plus side: Fort Tilden was sweet. I was in a bad mood per usual during transit (the subway and I are like oil and water or like fire and gasoline maybe...) but things began looking up as the epic string of Broccoli Destroyer, The Stranger Boys and Fiasco went on. Now that I am a criminal the only music that soothes my soul is instrumental or by Fiasco or both.

This is my favorite song right now today. AND I SAY AND These cats are playing tonight at 49 S 2nd St in Brooklyn (Death by Audio) with Power Animal, Grasshopper, Slasher Risk and others. Show starts at 8pm. Costs $7. The flyer is so dope.

True Story The Aquarium by Fiasco

I said god damn!

To be continued...

(I took photos and drew a cartoon of the whole day. Look forward to that yo amigo yo.)

my misery/self-loathing is all-consuming

Today my Metro Card wasn't working and I obviously think I am invincible and ergo jumped the turnstile so of course as I am pulling out my book to read it two MTA cops come up to either side of me. They kept asking me stupid questions like don't you think you could get hurt jumping over the turnstile (I snarkily replied the fine would hurt me more)  but this was just a friendly reminder from God that I am not as special as I think I am and that even if you tell the police you are an unpaid intern they will still fine you $100. Awesome. 

This post was supposed to be about my sunburn from going to faraway-as-fuck Fort Tilden on Sunday to see some hip/now/sound bands but now it is about how I plan on getting $100 by July 16th which is when this summons is due. On the plus side--wait, there IS no fucking plus side. 

Here are my options as I see them:

1. Move to Canada.

2. Kill someone and up the ante of my criminal record (there's no turning back now I figure).

3. Get a job.

3 is out of the question because who is going to hire me now? I am ruined. I jumped the turnstile and I think I am above the law. What have I learned?

a. Be patient. An MTA employee will come and help you with your Metro Card.

b. Everything happens for a reason.

c. Nothing, I haven't learned anything.

Obviously c. I am so pissed off right now and I still don't think any of this is my fault even though I guess I have free will and was asking for it--but maybe I don't even believe in free will. Did you ever think of that fucking MTA double teaming cake brains? Probable not. Can I plead insanity and get off the hook? Probably not.

I hate music so I'm not even going to recommend anything for you to listen to. Oh I know, I recommend you listen to my scathing thoughts about justice and freedom. Anarchy, bitches!

Here is the new MGMT video for "Kids." It makes me fiercely uncomfortable at parts. Experience it for yourself:

Neu Wave Cinema

[I wrote this awhile ago and never posted it, it might be on the short side and I don't remember how the name had anything to do with it but why not?]

I know not if someone else has written about this exact same thing on this blog previously. So if you have read this sentence somewhere else then I extend my deepest apologies to you and yours.

David Byrne played a free show in Prospect Park last Monday. It was an overcast night, light sprinkles here and there. The occasional drips felt rather nice while watching a wonderful band clad in brilliant white. Byrne did an amazing show. The fact that it was free was very satisfying. The crowd was very cool too. Not too dense but enough to get the juices flowing.

It really shouldn't have mattered that the show was free but it felt really good that it was. Living in NYC exposes you to so many people that want to fuck you (in a bad way). I would love a good fucking if my wallet wasn't involved.